So imagine for a moment that you are a parent and your child comes to and want to have an important talk. He is nervous and shaking your worried what they might say that would make them that nervous. Finally after a long pause he blurts out, “Mom, Dad I’m gay.” There is a long pause your not sure what to say, you love your child, but have always believed in a historically biblical sexual ethic what do you say? For many people this a difficult reality to deal with especially when you don’t expect it. You don’t have to be a parent either it could be a sibling, a relative or just a friend. How do we respond? How do we love the other person?
Understanding
Before we answer those questions I think it would helpful to first gain a little perspective. For someone who struggles with same- sex attraction it can be very alienating. For most they find themselves with these attraction but not sure what to do. So many will deal with it on their while hiding it from those around them. Many will have relationships with people of the opposite sex in order to deny it. So when they finally get to this point of “coming out” it is a very emotional moment and for many a fear of rejection. This makes this moment critical in your relationship with this person. I say this not to put to much pressure on you, but as a way to help you understand what is at stake. for this moment may very well determine the kind of relationship you may have with them going forward. Many who have responded negatively in these moments have in many cases lost relationship with that person.
Response
So how do we respond to this person? The most important thing in this initial conversation is to do what you can to preserve the relationship. How do we do that? Tell them that you will always love and do not go into any buts, such as we still love you, but we don’t agree with homosexuality. Now this may seem counterintuitive to some people, but in this first moment emotions run high and a quick response is simply not appropriate at this time. Now what do you do if they ask you about your views on sexuality? you politely ask them to give you time to think. Now this is not just to buy time, but actually think deeply about what you will say next time you talk and when you do explain your views in the most nuanced way possible. with emotions so high at the initial conversation it is better to discuss specifics when everyone has calmed down. A person close to me once came out to me now for me it was a little easier to respond being that I too struggle with same-sex temptation, but we did discuss our views and had that conversation another time. If you are able to keep contact there will always be another opportunity to talk more.
Now I know there are some are already struggling with a broken relationship with this person I can’t promise it will get better. but we do have hope that God will turn their heart back. No story shows this better than the story of Christopher Yuan and his mother Angela From their book “out of a far country.” So pray and keep the lines of communication open there hope so long as we draw breath.
Remember
It’s important as Christians to remember that there will be hard times and things won’t always work out. Life is messy and sometimes we are called to do the hard things. So its important to pray and keep our eyes on Christ for he is enough. That person may still reject you for what you believe. So I think it is important remember Matthew 10:37-38, “Whoever love father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and who ever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” But now I don’t want to leave you with only with a heavy word, for it is written in Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
Springboro Apologetics 